I Discovered Self-love through My Hair

I've always liked long straight hair, which was a beauty standard and a trend when I was a kid. My mum never had an issue with braiding and keeping my hair even though she didn't have much time. It was a bonding moment whenever she braided my hair. These were moments I spent with her talking about hairstyles and my next new hairstyle for Eld and other things aside from her assisting me with my homework. 

She subsequently realized she didn't have enough time for my hair, so she agreed to let me go to the salon more frequently. I was too lazy and stubborn to go to the salon on a regular basis. She became upset by my behavior and had no choice but to cut my hair.

I felt free and relieved because I wouldn't have to go through the hassle of braiding my hair every day. The happiness didn't last long because most of my classmates started calling me names and mocking me. This went on for so long that it had a negative impact on my self-esteem and even my grades.

…most of my classmates
started calling me names
and mocking me.

I didn't even consider myself attractive at that time. I struggled with this for a long time until I confided in my mother, who was my source of inspiration when it came to seeing myself as beautiful. She made it a habit to call out lovely and positive affirmations to me, which was quite beneficial.

My journey of self-love began when I established my definition of beauty and became self-aware with other things around, than just my hair. This journey was not an overnight acceptance. It took time to overcome my low self-esteem, caused by trimming my hair. Accepting my trimmed hair was the beginning of discovering my true self. To help love me more, I had to understand my self-worth.

It took time to overcome my low self-esteem, caused by trimming my hair. Accepting my trimmed hair was the beginning of discovering my true self. 

I began to pay close attention to my thoughts, the people around me, and even the things I see. I'm wary of these things because we live in a world where beauty standards are set by society. In some parts of the world having long straight hair is seen as a beauty standard for every lady but trimmed or short kinky hair does not fall within the class of being beautiful. Living in such a society, you might unconsciously tailor your lifestyle to what the beauty standard is, if you live in such a community. But when we are conscious about our thoughts, we become aware of the things we desire and prefer.

But when we are conscious about our thoughts, we become aware of the things we desire and prefer.

Kafayat Razak

Kafayat is a young woman from Ghana. She is of Yoruba descent, and currently lives in the city of Kumasi. She works for The Hive as a Media Associate.